Just do me
by SugarBee
Summary: As an incentive for Employee of the Month, Chaos gives Kuja a list of cell phone nos. for everyone on the Cosmos team, most of whom Kuja find to be ... hot. Kuja/?
1. Chapter 1

**chapter one**

The first thing he liked to do after a hard day going through the ruins was take a hot shower – or a hot bath. Tonight he hoped he wouldn't have time for a long bath so he went for the shower instead, making it quick. Ten minutes later he wrapped his luxurious hair in a thick towel and got into his bathrobe and slippers.

It had arrived as promised while he was in the bathroom and lay quietly, pristinely, a thick white square, on his black lacquer morning table by the hearth.

Kuja hurried over and snatched it up, opening the square fold by fold until he had in his manicured hand a single sheet of formal velum stationery. On it ten lines marched across as even as soldiers.

He giggled with glee, grabbed his cell phone from the table and hopped onto his soft queen-sized bed. Before he agreed to this gig he made sure his rooms would be decorated to his liking. Kuja turned on his bedside lamp, a Tiffany, and curled up in a happy ball to look at the list.

"Ohhhh, oh my!" He whispered. Everyone was there. All cell phone numbers. And the first one ….

All of a sudden he felt nervous. It was an odd feeling. He'd never felt that way before. He pushed away from that silliness and looked at the first set of numbers. He knew who it belonged to – that _face!_ That body. Maybe his nervousness was merely anxiety.

_Let's go!_ He said to himself, _We're wasting precious time here._

He entered the first phone number into his cell and hit the Talk button. First one beep, then another. On the fourth beep or so the beeping stopped.

A bored voice said, "Hello?"

Kuja cleared his golden throat a little, "Hi! Um, a friend gave me your phone number, and I … I thought I'd call you … well, I _wanted_ to call you …."

"Ah … okay," the man on the other end said. "Who is this?"

Kuja giggled, "You can't guess?"

Silence.

"Anyway," he went on. "I know that you and I … we … we've met. True, maybe not under the best of circumstances, and for that I feel bad …."

Total lie.

"Hey, wait a minute," Light said. "This voice is familiar …."

Kuja thought about his next move and waited.

"I hope you won't think badly of me," he said with a pout in his voice. After the pretty male had his way with Light, then Light was welcome to think whatever he wanted. But until then ….

"It's _you!_" Light said with venom.

"Yes, yes, it is," Kuja said sweetly, "and I'd like to say I'm sorry for the things they've made me do …."

That someone would _like_ to say they're sorry is not the same as someone actually apologizing. Kuja wondered if that would occur to Light. Probably not. But then Kuja wasn't calling Light because Kuja was impressed by Light's brains, which were actually nothing to write home about.

"_You!_" Light whispered, "Why are you calling me?"

"Well," Kuja thought for a moment – hadn't he just stated his reason for calling? "I know we haven't met under the best circumstances and I'd like to apologize to you in person …."

"What kind of trick is this?" Light said.

"No trick," Kuja said. "I – I'd like to have dinner with you and talk about …."

The phone went dead on the other end.

"Fine," he went back to the list. "Who's next?"

When he saw who it was, a chill ran up and down his delicate spine. He quickly punched in the number on his phone and then hit Talk. This male was very possibly even more beautiful than Light. More … captivating? Enthralling? Gorgeous? Interesting? The phone buzzed once, twice, three times, then four and five before the answering service came on the line. Kuja hit End, feeling vexed.

"I'll save him for later," he said and went down the list of phone numbers. "Nope. I don't do children …. Who's next … Well, fuck me in the ass, it's Cecil Harvey. Baby, tonight I'm yours."

Kuja quickly dialed again. After just a few buzzes, a sweet male voice answered,

"Hello?"

"Hi!" Kuja relaxed back into his numerous fluffy pillows, "I wanted to call you – got your phone number from a friend …."

"You're kidding," the hot paladin said matter-of-factly.

"Kidding?" Kuja wasn't sure for a minute that he'd heard him right. "No, I'm not …."

"You just called my friend, didn't you?"

"I did, yes," Kuja was getting ticked off now.

Things weren't going at all the way he thought they would. When he had fought Light there was no mistaking the look in the warrior's eyes as the pretty male teased him. Their fight had ended up with Light leaving instead of fighting on. But the way Light's beautiful green eyes lingered on his opponent, on his bare thighs and bare stomach, made Kuja want more. He wanted more than hungry glances or appreciative glances. He wanted to be eaten, and he wanted it tonight. He was, frankly, surprised that Light turned him down. Well, if not with Light, then … he had more phone numbers.

"What are you up to?" Cecil said, his voice hard with suspicion.

"Good god …," Kuja said and hung up. Some people were no fun.

Moving right along. Number five on the list made Kuja gasp with delight. He hurried with the number, saving this one in his phone's memory. Later on he would go back and do the same for number two.

No answer. That was a bummer. Even more, he almost wondered for a minute if maybe number two and number five were together somewhere, but he didn't like that thought so he didn't go there. The only way he would ever tolerate two and five being together would be if were in the middle, nude. Kuja went on to the next one on the list.

As soon as he saw who it was, his breathing stopped and his eyes turned red with rage. His hair turned into flames, threatening to send the towel up in a puff of smoke. The room was suddenly hot, burning – and not in a good way. He punched in the number, seething. After only two beeps, a wimpy voice answered,

"Helloooo?"

"I HATE YOU!" He said and hit End.

That was probably enough to send her into a crying fit for the rest of the evening. This made him feel better and he started to cool down. He'd deal more of that out later. Her and her irritating attacks. What he really wanted to do was jam a foot up her ass. And then Kuja saw the next name.

"Hello there!" He said happily, punching in the numbers. A couple beeps and a miserable voice answered,

"Hello?"

"Hi," Kuja purred. He relaxed back into his multitude of pillows once again, "I know you don't know me that well … but …"

They had fought a few times. The boy was cute so Kuja had taken it easy on him. And who could ignore that big sword? It made him kind of … horny. Later on finding himself KO'd by a blond only piqued his interest more. Cloud said nothing, so Kuja continued on,

"Anyway, I feel like I don't want you to think badly of me …"

Cloud cut him off, "I have a girlfriend."

Like that mattered to the little black mage. He knew who Cloud's girlfriend was, too – everyone did. That rack was downright impossible to compete with. Obviously.

Kuja started to say, "Oh, I didn't mean _that_ …"

"So, whaddaya want, then?"

He put on his best pout, "I thought it'd be nice if we had dinner some time."

Cloud laughed softly, "Pass." He hung up.

Fine. Whatever. This was only square one after all. He'd gotten his dainty foot in the door, and now he had the phone numbers. All of them.

He spied one number and skipped over Squall, for the moment, to get to it. A few beeps and then an answer.

"Hello?" Kuja said, all business, "Is the monkey home?"

"Eat shit and die," the boy said on the other end.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is _this_ the monkey? I'm calling for …," Kuja said, innocent.

"If you call here again, I'll kill you," Zidane said evenly.

"You wish," Kuja fired back.

Yet another who needed a good ass kicking. Unfortunately, they were evenly matched. Still … someday the monkey was going to get his in a big, big way.

"Bitch," Zidane said and hung up.

"Furry," Kuja said, hoping he heard.

Nerve of some people.

Onward, ever onward. He went back to Squall Leonhart. Yummy. Talk was that the lion had a girlfriend he wasn't all that interested in. Not that Kuja really cared as long as the girlfriend wasn't immediately present. All Kuja wanted was to tap that ass and then move on.

Shockingly enough, his phone rang just as he was about to punch in Squall's cell phone number.

_Anonymous_ was listed for the name. Kuja hit talk,

"Hello?"

Whoever was on the other end paused for a moment, "Uh … hi! I, um, noticed that someone at your phone number called my phone …."

OH … EM … GEE … it was _him_. He felt the blood drain from his face and a sudden attack of nerves.

"Yes!" He sat up straight in bed, "Yes, I did call you. I hope you don't mind, I … well …."

The man on the other end laughed softly, "Okay. Yeah. I recognize your voice now."

"I know. And I know we've had a few … matches together … I wanted to call and … just say that I don't have any bad feelings about it. Maybe we could even be, oh, I don't know – friends?"

"Friends, huh?" It sounded as if he were smiling as he said it.

"Well …," Kuja made his best effort to be nice. He couldn't help but giggle. "I know – do you want to have dinner with me tonight? Something that's no big deal. I haven't eaten dinner yet …."

"Dinner …," Mr. Hot and Gorgeous seemed to be thinking about it. "Yeah, I can do dinner. Just tell me where and when."

The pretty male had to suppress a fit of giggling, "Oh, okay!"

Five minutes later all the details had been worked out. Kuja hit the End button, his cheeks blushing hot pink. Finally – score! He had one more quick call to make and then –

What to wear? He didn't want his intentions to be too obvious. While bare ass naked could be a very good thing, sometimes wearing just the right outfit, leaving more to the imagination, was better. He toweled his hair and hopped off the bed, draping the wet towel over a chair by the fire. He hadn't noticed at all that there was someone sitting on the other side of the fireplace, in the shadows. Kuja screamed when he saw the man and pulled his thick white bathrobe tighter around his little body.

"_How long have you been here?_"

Gabranth. Sitting back and being amused.

"Long enough," he said coolly. "So – who's the victim?"

"Shut up," Kuja said. He continued to his double walk-in closet on the other side of the room. On one wall he had a whole rack that was short skirts only. He told his date he'd meet him in an hour, and even then that was pushing it. His hair needed to be brushed carefully, and he still needed to check his nails. For a first date he chose a short white skirt with a pink ruffle around the bottom. The skirt was so short it was more like a belt. A long-sleeved bolero shirt in matching colors went with the skirt. It was so tight that his nipples could be seen through the white fabric stretched across his chest.

Perfect.

Under the skirt he'd wear a pair of black boy legs, and then black stockings and a different pair of leather boots. He wanted more of his legs to show. His legs were almost his best asset.

Almost.

As soon as he pulled the low-rise boy legs up over his thighs he turned in the mirror to check his best asset.

Very nice.

Forty minutes later he was ready to go, and that was rushing it. He came out of the bathroom brushing his hair.

"Are you still here?" He said to Gabranth. There was no doubt what _he_ wanted. But Kuja wasn't satisfied with the way he was being treated by the bigger man.

"You are such a whore," Gabranth said to the pretty black mage, smirking.

"Don't be here when I get back," he said and left, slamming the door behind him.

He had a date with Firion and he didn't want to be late.

* * *

_A/N: What do you think? This won't be a hugely long story - maybe around 4 or 5 chapters. And I really don't know who Kuja will end up with yet. I'll just keep writing it out and see where it goes. Thx for reviewing!_


	2. Chapter 2

**chapter two**

Lunar Subterrane. Great place for some privacy. Kuja patted himself on the back for thinking of this location, hurrying along without being too eager. A picnic basket floated behind him.

No one around. The bright night landscape was cool and quiet. No battles. If you couldn't see them, you could always hear them, even in a vast, empty place like Sub-Tee, where the cold alienness of it seemed heavy. Even so, he thought the atmosphere was romantic. And private. He settled on a plateau in the distance and hurried on his way.

The castle kitchen had packed the picnic basket. He opened it with trepidation. If they screwed this up, someone was going to die in a hail of gravity balls. A dark checkered blanket was folded neatly on top. Fifty points for kitchen staff. It was a deep purple with dark blue checks, definitely a step up from regular red and white. The emperor had taken Kuja on a picnic when they all first got together. They'd had a stupid red and white checked cloth that day. Maybe it was the bad memories. The emperor had undressed the smaller male and did what he wanted for hours. Kuja couldn't even look at anything in red and white without remembering how badly the emperor had used him.

Some people can be such jerks.

He pushed it from his mind, arranging the blanket carefully. Next in the basket were four neat cloth-wrapped squares. He had no idea what those were. Under the soft squares were plates, utensils, fruit, cheese, two thin silver goblets and two small bottles of wine on top of two smaller wooden boxes. What a spread.

"Hi, cutie," a voice said from far away.

Kuja stopped his unpacking and looked up just as Mr. Gorgeous came over the edge of the plateau, looking more beautiful even than he remembered. Firion was breathtaking, and it wasn't due to the moonlight. He had changed from his armor into faded jeans and regular leather boots. He had on a three-quarter length navy blue wool coat. The dark color set off his brilliant eyes and the jewels in his hair. As if his looks weren't drawing enough attention already. Kuja waved to him,

"Hello!"

Firion looked at the blanket and everything being laid out to one side, "Cute _and_ thoughtful! You're making me feel special."

Kuja blushed and finished what he was doing, trying not to be too horny. He'd had sex that morning but it wasn't satisfying. Actually, check that – he'd been used for sex that morning. It wasn't the same thing. What he needed now was_ satisfying_ sex. He kept his head down even as his date stretched out on the opposite side of the blanket, arranging his long and muscular legs. Kuja desperately wanted his horny-ness to pass. He didn't want to seem needy, although that would be very difficult around Firion.

Kuja gave his date 50 points for consideration. The black mage would sit between the laid out dinner and his date, serving his date like a good host. He looked up to see Firion watching him, a sly smile on his face.

"I hope you're hungry," Kuja said like a normal person.

"You know it," Firion said. "Even though I have already eaten dinner once, I always eat twice at night."

"You do?" Kuja smiled up at his date. "Yes, I guess you would, a big strong male such as yourself. Glass of wine?"

Firion smiled, "Absolutely."

He scooted closer to his pretty date. He wasn't sure if Kuja was a child, as Zidane was. Somehow he didn't think so. As Kuja poured from one of the small bottles of wine, they were both delighted see that it was champagne. Kuja handed a goblet to Firion.

"Oh, no," Firion said, "you first."

Kuja was surprised, "Me?" And then he got it, "Do you really think I'd poison you?"

Firion smiled, "I don't know. Would you?"

"Well, that hurts," Kuja teased. There's no way he'd want to get rid of someone as hot and do-able as Firion. That would be a sin against men, and women, everywhere. He took a sip of the champagne.

"I'll be damned if you're not even cuter when you're pouting," Firion said.

Firion took the goblet from his date, gently putting his fingers over Kuja's soft hand. He liked the long, manicured fingernails painted dark pink. It made him wonder if something else was pink. Firioin put his lips on the goblet where Kuja's lips had been. This was not lost on Kuja, who watched as the tip of Firion's tongue traced the goblet's rim. The sight made him tingle.

Kuja was about to pour champagne for himself when Firion stopped him. Firion held both goblets in his right hand and poured champagne with his left. This kind of talent deserved more than 50 points. Kuja gave him a solid 100 for gallantry. Firion handed a goblet to Kuja,

"What shall we drink to?"

There was an obvious answer to that. Kuja paused and tried to come up with something that didn't have to do with being naked and on all fours, or being on his knees with his mouth open. He was about to say _I don't know_ when he heard himself say, for whatever odd reason,

"To love!" He held up his goblet.

"And hot ass!" Firion said happily.

He clinked with his date and they both had a good drink of the sweet champagne. Firion didn't want to say anything, of course, but he was more of a beer guy. He suspected Kuja was more of a champagne guy – or girl, whichever he preferred. As Kuja leaned over to unwrap the soft packages, Firion took a peek.

"Hey – what's this?" He hooked a finger in the leg of his date's underwear and pulled down, exposing part of his hip.

Kuja slapped his fingers away, "Those are my shorts!"

"Well – what's up with that?" Firion said.

His date was hot with his slightly rounded thighs and small, round ass. He had on a mini skirt and thigh-high stockings, but then … those shorts were some serious cock blockers. On top of it he wore a long gray coat. If it wasn't so chilly up on the plateau, Firion would've helped his date out of his coat. But it was fairly chilly and his date was small and slim. Fortunately, as Kuja moved around, attending to their picnic, his coat flapped mostly open and more open, being unbuttoned. Firion worked to see as much of his date's body as he could.

"I mean, I really like what you're wearing tonight, but …," Firion said. All he could do to drive his point home was hook a finger in the leg band of Kuja's underwear and pull down again, just to get a peek. He couldn't help but wish that his date had worn a thong instead.

"Stop!" Kuja giggled.

Firion flipped at the ruffles around the hem of Kuja's skirt, "I really like this."

"Thank you," Kuja said. "Would you like a sandwich?"

That was what the kitchen staff had wrapped in cloth in the soft, square shapes. Watercress sandwiches with parsley and radishes.

"Yes, if you'll feed me," Firion started to say, and then, "hey – wait a minute! You're the one who hasn't eaten dinner yet. Let me feed you!"

Suddenly Kuja was shy, blushing furiously, "Absolutely not!"

"I'm serious! Here, do this," Firion said.

At their back was an outcropping on the plateau that was like a large, low sofa cushion. Firion had his date relax and lean back into it. The little cutie seemed to be nervous around the larger, hazel-eyed man and had been blushing almost the whole evening, despite how cool it was in Sub-Tee. He wanted Kuja to sit back while he prepared something to put in his mouth, food to start with. Kuja wasn't sure what to think about this, or even how to let himself be taken care of, which is what he deserved. Yes, he'd had lovers who did things for him, but not something so intimate as … feeding him.

Firion decided to start with grapes. He arranged a fancy napkin on his date's bare tummy with Kuja trying not to laugh.

He smiled and put a bunch of grapes on top of the napkin, "What's the matter?"

"I … just …," Kuja bit his tongue, "don't make me laugh!"

Firion took one grape, round and juicy, and held it to Kuja's pretty mouth. Kuja stopped giggling and blushed deeper. He watched Firion's half-lidded eyes as Firi pushed on the grape very gently, seeking entrance. Kuja's kitten-like tongue came out to claim it but Firion took it away. They both laughed softly.

"Don't tease me, either," Kuja whispered.

But Firion wanted to tease just a little. The first time he fought the black mage he noticed how hot he was, and how Kuja _knew_ it. He had teased Firion then with his sweet thighs, his tight ass and sweet mouth. It was a mouth that wasn't too full or too thin. It was just right and made Firion wonder what he might look like with pale pink lipstick. As Firion had thought about it during their first fight, Kuja, almost on cue, opened his mouth just enough to show Firion a hint of tongue. The look in his eyes said he knew how to use it.

Firion brushed the one lone grape along Kuja's lower lip as he tried to catch it with his tongue. Firion pulled away again.

Kuja giggled nervously, "Stop!"

"Your mouth …," Firion said. "Your mouth is … so perfect."

Kuja smiled and captured the grape with his sharp teeth. He was now close enough to kiss his date. Instead, Firion surprised him by letting his fingers do the walking. He reached over and stroked the bit of thigh that he found to be naked under Kuja's warm coat. The thigh was soft and cool, so Firion was right about the cool night air. He was going to have to work to keep his date warm. Kuja moaned a little.

Firion touched his thigh and then bare stomach, "You're cold! Here, do this."

He pulled the little mage's coat closer around him and noticed that his date was blushing furiously.

"Are you okay?" He said, reaching under the coat to massage Kuja's soft thighs. "I don't want you to be cold."

Kuja didn't say a thing. He smiled and enjoyed the touch of his date. He was getting an erection. He wondered how long it would be until Firion discovered that. He opened his eyes to find Firion had come even closer. Kuja could feel his warm breath in his sensitive neck. A hand went under his boy legs and over the roundness of his ass. Kuja whimpered a little, his member stiffening.

"God, you're hot," Firion whispered. He pulled his date closer and then, for the first time, kissed him. He removed a hand from the round firmness of his date's bottom and wrapped his hand in the silk that was Kuja's thick hair. He pulled the pretty male closer, using his tongue to taste the other's mouth, now sweet from the grape.

Kuja broke away, "Well, what's it gonna be? Am I hot or am I cold?"

Firion smiled, "Um, you're cold here. But then you're _hot_ here. Nice and warm."

Kuja giggled as Firion's free hand stroked his thighs and bottom. His other hand toyed with Kuja's thick, silky mane. In one movement, Firion hooked two fingers in the waistband of Kuja's boy legs and pulled down quickly. He tossed the underwear away from them.

Kuja giggled, "Hey! Stop that!"

"Okay, I'll stop," Firion stroked the little beauty's delicate jaw. "I won't be removing your underwear again tonight."

Firion leaned forward for another kiss. This time he gently pushed his tongue into the sweet mouth, caressing his lover's tongue to the point where Kuja's defenses went down. As soon as he was open, Firion reached under Kuja's skirt and touched his hard sex.

Kuja pushed his hand away, "You are just … all hands, aren't you?"

Firion smiled, "You're hot there."

Now Kuja was becoming confused. Part of him wanted to let Firion make love to him right here and now, opening himself, giving himself. Another part wanted more than one night with this beautiful man. For the first time in forever, he was afraid. He was afraid Firion might use him for sex once and then he'd never see him again. He didn't want that. He didn't know what to do. When Firion resumed his ministrations, with his warm hand between Kuja's cool thighs, he didn't stop him, even though he knew that if Firion continued with what he was doing, the pretty mage was going to come for him. Soon.

"Well, goddamn …," a deep voice said over to the side of them.

Firion stopped what he was doing and helped Kuja close his coat around the bottom half of his body. They both at the same time looked over Firion's right shoulder in alarm.

Jecht.

Firion sighed, "I don't fucking believe this."

Jecht was perched half way over the edge of the plateau, watching. Next to him was Sephiroth. As Kuja watched, Jecht handed a 20-gil note to Sephiroth.

"I didn't fucking believe it, either!" Jecht yelled at the two of them. Sephiroth said nothing. The darker man said something to the lighter man that Kuja couldn't hear. Kuja screamed at the two of them,

"Would you two _GET OUT OF HERE?_"

That didn't work, not even a little. Jecht, and then Sephiroth, advanced to the top of the plateau and came over.

"Seph here comes back to the castle," Jecht said in his rough voice, "and sez guess who's fucking around in Lunar Sub? I sez I don't know, who? He sez Kuja and that one guy from the other side. I sez no … fucking … _way_, that little whore!"

For Kuja, the jury was still out when it came to Jecht. Sometimes he was funny. When he was drunk he was _incredibly_ funny, acting out stories and making fun of people, imitating people. Sometimes he was nice and gentlemanly. And then sometimes he was a real asshole.

But Seph – he was a complete mystery to the pretty mage. As Kuja curled up in his date's warm arms, protected, he noticed that the tall soldier was taking everything in, his eyes as cold and hard as emeralds. He was like a machine. Kuja tried to get to know him at first, talk to him, flirt with him – even offer a little something more if he wanted it. Seph did have a hot body, after all. Every time, Kuja's attempts were met with the same cold, clinical gaze. No love, lust or hatred. Kuja wondered if Seph had missed his true calling as a scientist. Now Seph looked down at Kuja as if he could read his thoughts. A shiver ran through Kuja's body and it wasn't the good kind. He wondered if either of the men had noticed his underwear over on the other side of the blanket. Probably not.

Jecht, on the other hand, was the polar opposite of Sephiroth, "So Seph here sez put yer money where yer mouth is, asshole. I sez yer on, girlfriend! Let's go! So we're comin across Subbie and I hear this _No, stop!_ and giggling shit and someone talking. Seph sez you owe me 20, bitch. I sez not til I see some ass pounding action. So then we listen and sure enough, over here …"

Firion glared up at the two. Now he knew why Tidus hated his old man.

Jecht went from smiling down at the two of them to pointing at Seph, "I sez, if that little bitch has a dick up her ass, it'll be worth a 20 …"

The fist of death started to rise in Kuja. Firion could feel the petite beauty getting warmer in his arms. Suddenly Firion had an idea, thanks to Tidus.

A couple minutes later and the two were leaving without a fight. Firion had offered Jecht the remaining bottle of champagne and he took it.

"Well," his attention went back to his date. "That could've been more unpleasant."

Kuja looked up at him, "How?"

Firion laughed and kissed his date on his cool forehead, "Hey! Have you gone back to being cold?"

Kuja knew something for certain – he'd lost his erection and that was disappointing.

"I don't know," he said. "Feel me."

Firion kissed him again and laughed. He opened up the pretty thing's coat and kissed each of his nipples through his blouse. Kuja whimpered, and then caught his breath as Firi's right hand drifted down to Kuja's stomach, where it rested lightly.

"You must be cold," Firion said, "your nipples are hard as rocks."

He kissed them again, making Kuja squirm. He kissed downward but stopped at Kuja's belly button. With his two talented fingers he hooked the waistband of Kuja's skirt and pulled it down off of Kuja's thighs with one swift movement. He tossed it over with his date's underwear.

"Wait a minute!" Kuja giggled, "You're supposed to be warming me up, not taking all my clothes off!"

Firion gave him a _seriously_ look, "Don't tell me that tiny skirt of yours actually keeps your sweet ass warm."

The giggling died down a little as Kuja discovered his erection returning. Firi opened the coat to have a look. Dark pink, it stood not quite at half mast. It wasn't the longest Firi had ever seen, but it was thick with a nice mushroom head. Kuja moaned and felt himself get a little harder.

"Nice," Firion whispered. "Pretty, just like you are."

Instead of touching it, Firi reached around to grab a handful of ass as he kissed his date again, fencing tongue to tongue. He held his date in his left arm as they sat facing each other in the moon light. This meant his right fingers were free to trail down Kuja's soft thighs and then inside his thighs, without touching his sex. Kuja whimpered again as his member hardened from it. Firion still avoided touching him there. Unfortunately, Firi didn't think to keep an eye on his date's unoccupied hands. Without warning, Kuja went for Firi's belt buckle and zipper. Firion pushed the delicate fingers away.

"Why?" Kuja whimpered and tried again.

Firion stopped him, "Because it's not time yet."

When Firion went to kiss his hot date again, Kuja hurried and unzipped the jeans. Firion laughed softly and decided to let him do what he wanted. Kuja unbuckled the belt and undid the button, too, in a hurry. His new lover had on low-rise briefs. Kuja touched the front to see – yes, Firi had an erection, too, and turned out to be about two inches bigger than average. This discovery made the petite mage's sex stand up harder.

Firion cupped Kuja's face in his hands and kissed him deeply, using his tongue to make love to his lover's tongue. Kuja moaned and pushed against Firion's muscular body. This was what he wanted, and what he didn't want. This was turning into more than hot sex. Tonight had been so good with him – talking, laughing, kissing – even Jecht's interruption hadn't really soured the evening. Firion kissed his lover's delicate chin, then his throat, moving down to his perky nipples. The wetness of Firi's tongue made his lover's blouse transparent directly over the nipples. Kuja realized this and mewled like a kitten,

"Please!"

Firi knew it. If he didn't do something about his lover's condition, the pretty male would come without even being touched, he was so hard, straining upward. Firion continued with his downward momentum, tracing his tongue down his lover's tummy. His skin was so soft. He stopped for a minute to tickle the belly button with the tip of his tongue.

Kuja's breath was coming faster, "Firi, if you don't stop teasing me, I'm going to come on you."

"Like that's a threat," Firion murmured. He dipped his head down and took his lover's hard member in his mouth. Kuja nearly screamed. His hips jerked upward unvoluntarily. Firi did the best he could to get a rhythm going, but it was a little difficult with a writhing partner.

"Firion!" Kuja screamed.

He didn't mean to, but he couldn't help it – he came in his lover's mouth. First one long spurt, then one not so long, then another, his hips jerking. Firi stayed with him, tasting the salty liquid as it erupted time and time again. He counted six spurts before his lover's member seemed to be finished. Firion stayed with it, anyway, suckling the sweet thing, until Kuja fell back.

He was done.

But Firion wasn't.

First he made sure Kuja was comfortable on his long coat. He took the warm liquid from his mouth and used it to lubricate the little beauty. Then he pushed his jeans and briefs down to his thighs. Kuja whimpered, seeing his lover's hardness for the first time. It was longer than average but not too thick. Kuja tried to touch its dark red-purple mushroom head but Firi wouldn't let him. Instead he pulled his lover down a little bit, pushing his thighs back so that his opening was ready. Firion pushed in.

He was starting to wonder if they heard Kuja scream way back at the castle. If so, that was too bad. They were going to have to get their own. Firion moved as gently as he could inside his date, careful not to hurt him. He wasn't sure how much his lover could take yet. He didn't put his whole length in. He moved with a careful rhythm, working to prevent his own orgasm from coming too quickly.

"Oh my god," Kuja whispered. This was perfect. He wasn't even going soft. He was still at half erection. "Oh my god, Firi, I think I'm going to come again."

"Wait, baby," he said and kissed his lover's nipples. He kissed Kuja's delicate chin again and then his mouth, their tongues fencing with each other.

This was exactly the quality of fuck Kuja had wanted tonight. He opened his eyes for a moment to watch Firion's pretty face, blushing now, his jeweled hair matching his movements. Kuja even thought for just a second that he saw Jecht and Sephiroth peeking over to the side of the plateau.

He didn't care anymore.

Another few minutes and Firion cried out, "I can't hold it!"

When his orgasm came he thrust a little too hard, making them both scream. At the moment he felt Firion coming inside of him, Kuja came again, too, splattering his seed on his own stomach. Firion kissed him and they murmured to each other as they finished coming. Suddenly it was a very hot night in Sub-Tee, both of the males sweating, lying together, catching their breath.

After a while Firion looked up from where he had buried his face in Kuja's neck,

"So, then, you were saying something about being friends?"

Kuja giggled.

* * *

_Thank you, 1Varie1E1 for favoriting this story! I'm not getting any reviews, but I'm going to finish anyway. I think I've got about 3 or 4 more chapters ^_^_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I don't think I'm doing such a great job communicating how Kuja is becoming conflicted over wanting really good sex but not wanting a relationship, and then suddenly with Firion, wanting the relationship, too, and yet not wanting the relationship. But! I'll finish writing this out and then go back and revise. ^_^ It's also getting to be a longer story in my mind - about 6 or 7 more chapters. Thx for reading!_

* * *

**chapter three**

When they finally left Sub-Tee for the long walk home, it was very late – or very early. Kuja thought it might be 2 or 3 a.m., judging from the sky. Firion held his hand as they walked,

"So, what do you think?"

The way he said that had a dangerous effect on the mage, "What do I think about _tonight?_"

"Mm-hmm," Firion said, looking down at the ground.

To begin with, it was damned good. Before they left the plateau, Firi talked him into just one more. This time Firi squatted down with only his sex unclothed and put Kuja on all fours in front of him. He guided the tip of his member into his lover's opening and then had Kuja push back on it, Firi holding onto his soft hips. Kuja had cried out from the feeling of it, his own member stiffening into a nice erection. Firion had been gentle then, instructing his lover to move his sweet round ass against Firi's crotch so that he could control how much length he took and their rhythm. Their movements were slower this time, less urgent. As they moved together, Firion massaged Kuja's thick erection, making the hot little thing whimper with pleasure. When his orgasm finally came, it triggered Firi's and they came together, kissing and moaning.

Kuja didn't want to tell Firion everything that he thought about their date tonight. It would make him too … he couldn't think of the word for it, but it wasn't a pleasant word. Going there made him nervous. As they walked along, he tried to come up with something that would please Firi just enough. It would be nice to get some of that again.

"Well …," Kuja said, "It was definitely more than I _expected_ would happen."

"Really?" Firion smirked just a little, "So, what did you _expect_ would happen?"

As he thought about it, oddly enough the first image that came to his mind was of Firion walking toward him across the plateau, hands in pockets, smiling. He was so … normal.

"I thought we'd have dinner and talk …." he said quietly to Firion.

What a liar. In all honesty, Kuja really expected that the two would talk a little, maybe kiss a little, fuck, and then Firion would leave. He didn't expect all the teasing, joking around, laughing, kissing. When Firion kissed him he felt like … well, it made him blush. Even Firi teasing him and joking around made his face get hot.

Firion, in full smirk, looked down at the little mage, "Did you really?"

"I didn't think," Kuja said, deciding to look at the stars instead of his date, "that it would be so _hot._"

"And I knew it would be," Firion said quietly. He squeezed his date's hand very gently, just enough so that Kuja had to look up at the taller man. He nodded, feeling suddenly embarrassed.

"You wanna see me again?" Firi said.

"Yeah," Kuja said honestly. "Yeah, I do."

Firi seemed to be equally embarrassed, "I'll take you somewhere."

Kuja perked, "Take me somewhere? You mean someplace where we can lock the door behind us?"

Firion laughed. He let go of his date's hand and put his arm around the pretty mage's shoulders to give him a hug.

"How about a comfy bed, too?" Kuja added. A bathroom, too. He hated being sticky.

He gave Kuja a kiss on the forehead, "It wouldn't be a date without a place to get comfortable."

They walked along through the nighttime landscapes, the picnic basket trailing along behind them. When they came to the place where the desert ended and the woods began, Firion took Kuja in his arms. He leaned down and kissed his date,

"I'll call you when I wake up. I feel like I gotta sleep for about 10 hours," Firi said.

Kuja giggled, "Yeah, me too. So – call me."

Half way into his walk of shame back to the castle, Kuja turned to look back. Firion was still at the castle gates, watching, a nasty smile on his face. Kuja smiled back and kept going, picnic basket still in tow.

Another thing he liked about Firi – his tail didn't freak him out. Most of the time Kuja kept his tail curled at the bottom of his spine, but after their first bout, the tail was out. Firi had toyed with it, kissed it, played with it, a naughty smile on his face all the while. He'd even said that the next time they were together Firi would show Kuja another use for it.

Interest piqued.

Later – much later, Kuja would wish that he had been the one to stay and watch Firion walk away. He was sure that if he had, what had happened to Firion never would've happened, that he would've stopped it for sure. Saved Firi.

But Kuja had been the one to walk away. He hadn't been there to see what happened, and for that he was sorry. Beyond sorry.

That word he'd been thinking of earlier? He would remember it in his nightmares that night. The word was ... _vulnerable._


	4. Chapter 4

**chapter four**

Kuja woke with a start, and not just because he was having a nightmare. It was so dark out that he wondered for a moment if he had fallen asleep with Firion somewhere, snuggled against his lover.

But then …

"Kuja."

… that _voice_. Just two words and that snotty, obnoxious voice took him from beauty sleep into jarring reality.

"I know you're awake."

He lifted one side of his sleep mask to get a look. If he was lucky, he was wrong about the voice and the voice's owner. But as soon as he was able to focus and saw who it was …. Kuja groaned and went back under his satin bed covers. Maybe this was part of the nightmare.

Mateus grabbed the end of his blankets and pulled the blankets off in one sweep, leaving Kuja fully exposed to the cold room in just his nightgown. Kuja made a mental note to talk to management about this. There had been a few times since he started working at the castle that the temps in his bedroom had been chilly, making the floor downright icy even when he was in his slippers.

And then this _thing_ had gotten into his room again, so obviously locks were not a problem for everyone around here.

Mateus stood looking down at him, "Don't think you're going to blow me off, you little bitch."

Kuja flipped up his sleep mask, "What do you _want?_ I don't remember even giving you permission to be in my bedroom!"

His hair seemed to be particularly fiery this morning, "You're going to tell me the meaning of that stunt you pulled last night."

"What stunt?" Kuja said, feeling tired. He went to retrieve his blankets and was met with a firm tap on the hand from Mateus' staff. He growled at the bigger mage, "Oh, you did not just do that!"

Mateus got ready to clock him again, "You were out yesterday evening with someone named Firion who is _not_ from this team."

"So fucking what!" He drew his legs up under his pale lilac nightie with the long sleeves. The yoke of it was decorated with white ribbons and tiny purple flowers. It was one of his favorites. Now he wished it was flannel, as much as he hated flannel, so that it could keep him warm in the sudden cold of his bedroom. He had wonder … if Mateus had … with the temperature.

He made one last stand, "I can go out with whoever I want to!"

The bigger mage was stronger and Kuja knew it, and not just because of Mateus' size. Mateus was also older and more experienced. Kuja, however, was not going gently into that good beating.

Mateus tried to tap the tinier once more with his staff and missed, "Of course you can. You're not listening to me!"

Kuja threw a pillow at him, "Get out of my room!"

A loud crack reverberated through the cold morning air. Kuja immediately took inventory of his body parts, certain that Mateus had hit him again. But that wasn't it. Kuja tried to speak. Nothing came out. Mateus reached down to grab him by the collar of his nightgown,

"I think you're ready to listen to me now, aren't you," he said. He didn't mean for it to be a question.

All the smaller could do was roll his blue eyes to one side. The rest of his body was useless. Frozen. He tried again to move but couldn't. So this was it – the emperor had hit him with a paralyze spell.

Mateus moved next to him on the bed and whispered, "I don't care who you fuck. You're a whore, so you'll always be fucking someone …."

Kuja's eyes flared.

"As long as you're going to be doing the other side," Mateus went on, "you're going to do something for _me_."

He didn't want to hear this. There was no way he'd betray Firion. He'd betray Mateus before Firi. Whatever Mateus said now would be totally lost on Kuja. He tried to shut his eyes but couldn't even do that.

"The next time you're humping on this little creature … Furry … or whatever his name is, you're going to kill him for me. Even if we have to settle for taking down just one of their team this way, at least we'll be one down," Mateus said. He went on to talking to himself more than anything, "After this happens there won't be a possibility that they'll let us close to take down another. Doesn't matter. We'll do whatever we need to."

What Kuja _needed_ to do was tell Mateus how much he _needed_ him to get the fuck out.

The bigger mage leaned back on the bed and pulled Kuja's thighs out behind him so that he was lying on his stomach on the bed. He pushed up the petite beauty's nightie, desiring to not only get a look at a perfect bottom but also make the little beauty as uncomfortable as possible. Kuja's skin was perfect, like pale satin, without a blemish. His bottom was round and firm without being plump – almost like a woman's, but not quite. Mateus had enjoyed himself there a few times and smiled, thinking back on it.

"And then again," he said, gently squeezing one cheek until pink marks from his fingers began to show, "considering the quality of this ass, maybe we could take down two of their team members without them realizing for a while exactly what we're up to. How interesting that someone as slutty as you cannot tolerate falling asleep with cum on their ass. You're nice and clean. That's very interesting. I would think you'd be used to having cum all over you by now."

Mateus gave him a final spank, reluctant to have to leave so soon. He had somewhere he had to be, unfortunately, or he'd stay and have more fun. He still had a hard time tearing himself away from the sight of Kuja laying quiet and still, his sweet bottom up in the air, available.

"So, then, the next time this creature wants to meet you for a fuck, and I'm sure he will, especially once he discovers how good you are when it comes, ha ha, pun there, to a professional blow job, you are to call me immediately. Then we'll arrange for this to happen."

Before he went out of the room and shut the door behind himself, Mateus had one last request, "I want to see you in my bedroom tonight, just after sunset."

Like that was going to happen. Kuja listened to Mateus leave, red with rage, like the handprints on his bottom. But as angry as he was, there was nothing else to do but wait until the paralyze spell wore off. He prayed that this really was all part of the nightmare he'd been having, but he doubted it. His ass cheeks were still stinging from the treatment Mateus had given them with his leather gloves.

What he wanted so badly was to leave here and go back home. Once he completed this job, it had been promised to him that he could go back there, to his home in the desert that he loved. As he started to fall back asleep, Kuja wondered if that had been his nightmare. In a way, he was sure of it – believing he was back home, walking the stone hallways that were both cool and warm at the same time, and then waking up …

Here.

What a terrible dream. Not surprisingly, Kuja fell into a heavy and ominous sleep. He tossed and turned, full of desire, longing and sorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you reviewers! You guys are awesome! ^_^ I haven't had much time to write lately, but reviews keep me going. If I know someone's reading, I'll do everything I can to keep writing, especially with this story because I have it all planned out. Yes, Susumi - I thought Mateus belonged to Bartz, so that was my bad. However - I do think Mateus is the type to pretend he doesn't know Firion/ that Firi is beneath noticing, although he secretly wants him. I also was surprised that I like the pairing of KujaxJecht thx to Kitara Violet and Violet Butterfly - K&J are such opposites ... but, poor Jecht, I think he's bound to lose out to Firi. Anyway - on with today's chapter!_

* * *

**chapter five**

"Oh, come on!" Jecht said, sounding a little bit too upbeat.

Kuja worked on ignoring him (as much as it was possible to ignore someone in your bedroom, sitting at the edge of your bed). He relaxed back into his pillows with his book and a cup of breakfast tea. He'd checked his phone immediately upon waking. Firion hadn't called.

Yet.

Kuja was certain that he would, however. If not, the pretty mage had already worked out a plan. _He_ would call Firion and ask what the hell. But Kuja was sure it wouldn't come to that. He took a sip of tea and went back to his book, _Tale of Genji_ by Lady Murasaki.

Jecht lowered his voice, "I'm serious, man … I … I don't want you to be mad at me."

He sounded almost … thoughtful.

Kuja put his book down, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be royally pissed off about last night."

The silver hair let the larger man chew on that for a while. By the look on Jecht's face, he might be occupied for the rest of the day. When Kuja woke that afternoon, Jecht had been sitting at the edge of his bed in quiet contemplation, head down. On the black lacquer morning table was an arrangement of at least two dozen yellow roses dotted with purple daffodils and tiny white flowers. This was the best flower arrangement Kuja had seen yet. Jecht had obviously gone way out of his way for this one. He had given Kuja quite a few flower arrangements (in addition to other gifts) during the time they'd known each other, but this one was the topper. Not only did it speak volumes about what was going on in his little mind, it also matched Kuja's favorite nightie.

After a few minutes or so, Jecht leaned closer and said quietly, "Okay. Okay – you _know_ I've got one good reason."

Kuja closed his book, "Really. And that reason is …?"

Jecht leaned over on the bed. He kissed Kuja's knee through his nightgown, caressing his ankle at the same time. Kuja thought he heard Jecht murmur something as his lips rested against the soft fabric. The pretty mage knew exactly what the words were, and how hard it was for Jecht to say them.

Jecht just wasn't …. When Kuja thought about it, Firion would probably have an easier time by far saying those three little words than Jecht would. Jecht just wasn't the type. Not that he didn't have those feelings for Kuja. In fact, he was pussy whipped to a disturbing degree. But – to be _vulnerable_, to open himself up to being hurt … he was as bad at that as Kuja, if not worse.

Kuja watched and waited as Jecht slipped his hand under the hem of his nightie, stroking Kuja's smooth leg with his rough hand. He pushed the hem of the nightgown up the silky, waxed thigh that he loved so much until the fabric came to rest by Kuja's hip. Jecht kissed the slim calf of his leg, then the knee, and up higher, slowly, his free hand finding its way underneath. He held his lover's thighs in one arm and then kissed him on his now bare hip, fully intending to kiss his way over to other places, too.

This wasn't making it any easier for Kuja. Why was it that when Firion had touched him in the same way, it had been hot? But Jecht … he was starting to irritate the little mage. Yes, sex was good with the athletic Jecht … in fact, sex was what brought them together and kept them together. He thought back to the time they first met, and how hot it had been then. Just like with Firion, it had been _immediately_ hot …

* * *

_* flashback *_

Chaos had rented a castle for their base of operations, with a private room for everyone on the team, private baths and a 24-hour kitchen with full staff. When Kuja read this in the email, the word RENTED leapt out at him like boulders from a meteor spell. The rest was totally lost on him until after he calmed down.

A rented castle.

Rented.

_RENTED!_

Once the fire from his computer died down to smoldering black bits, he floated off to pour himself a glass of wine and think this whole thing over.

"What kind of LOSER _rents_ a castle?" Kuja said out loud, throwing back a good few gulps of wine.

This whole deal was starting to sound like a farce. Thinking about it brought an image of that stupid clown to mind. Kuja wiped that out and poured another large glass of wine, which he downed quickly. Thing was, he'd already signed a contract, and Chaos had promised him the return of his home upon successful completion of their objective.

He went for another bottle of wine from the portable wine rack in his room, "Fine. Whatever."

He'd been living in this hotel for what seemed like forever and he hated it. There were strangers frequently on his very floor, coming close enough to his door that he could hear their whiny voices during his Me Time. Every day he considered killing them all in a hail of ultima bullets, but – he needed somewhere to live, so he scrapped that idea … for now, anyway.

Arriving at the RENTED castle a few days later, Kuja was still in a foul mood as his luggage floated in behind him. The invitation for Day One, however, mentioned cocktail hour for co-workers, which he full intended on attending long enough for a couple of drinks and to get a look at the hors d'oeuvres. As soon as he was through the massive stone front doors, a husky voice came at him from the right,

"Hi!"

He looked over his shoulder in that direction to see a half-naked barbarian standing with a beer in one paw. He was a dark-haired, dark-skinned man who looked vaguely familiar. Chaos had emailed a dossier to everyone regarding fellow co-workers, which Kuja had quickly skimmed over and deleted. They all seemed to be the same caliber of Loser as someone who rented a castle.

"Hi," Kuja answered coolly.

"Chaos asked me to close the front doors as soon as everyone was in," the barbarian said, "and you're the last!"

Kuja let his luggage drop in the large front hall, "You're kidding!"

Jecht went to close the big doors, "Huh?"

"What happened to the _servants?_" Kuja said.

The bigger man shrugged, "I don't know."

Kuja huffed in disgust and looked around. The front hall was dark and empty save for a few stacks of wooden crates, what looked like a selection of armor against one wall and, across the room from that, a phalanx of floor lamps. Once he found somewhere private, he would re-read his contract. It was front and center in his overnight bag.

"You wanna beer?" Jecht said, waving his beer at the pretty mage.

"No, I hate beer," Kuja said, wondering what was through the arched doorway to his left. He thought he heard voices.

"Really?" Jecht said quietly, "Then howa bouta …?"

He said the last word so quietly that Kuja couldn't be 100 percent sure he'd heard what he'd heard.

Kuja turned to him, "What did you say?"

Jecht took a large drink of his beer, "You heard me."

It sounded as if he had said, _how about a fuck?_ Kuja smiled and looked at him up and down. Muscular. He definitely wasn't hiding anything, even his feet. _A rough simpleton_ was Kuja's first impression.

"I said," Jecht cleared his throat, "how about a drink?"

Kuja smiled at him, "Oh, really? So that's what you said. Fine. I'd love a … _drink_. What are you offering?"

"I got whatever you want," the man said to him, confident.

Now this was Kuja's home turf – dirty flirty that most times led to something else that was dirty, "I'll bet you do. Let's go!"

Unfortunately, where they went was right into the next room, which was the kitchen and dining area with a bar against the far wall. Kuja felt his rage start to build again – who the hell has a kitchen and dining area TOGETHER? So, so, _soooo_ tacky. And then this crowd! Kuja stopped in the doorway upon seeing them all.

The barbarian put his hand on the small of Kuja's delicate back, "C'mon."

The odd selection of metal men just standing around doing nothing, like suits of armor in a museum, or in a rented castle, was the first thing to make him want to say To Hell With The Contract, I'm Leaving. One wacko with two yellow _things_ coming out of her body was floating in one corner, watching everyone. One almost normal looking person was talking to that horrible clown, who noticed Kuja immediately. In the opposite corner all by himself was actually one very normal-looking person with long silver hair, dressed in black. By the looks of his porcelain cup, he was drinking sake. Not talking to anyone. He also noticed Kuja immediately, which Kuja liked.

A lot.

Another metal man had taken off his helmet and was talking to some weird ho with her dress open in front.

"You're not scared, are ya?" Jecht had laughed.

Right. Scared. Scared of associating with this crowd for fear of being seen as a LOSER himself. Except for the long-haired honey dressed in black. Already Kuja was formulating a plan to leave with this honey and not look back.

Jecht elbowed him, "It's all right! I'll getcha something to drink – just name it!"

"Champagne," Kuja said.

Jecht laughed and stalked off toward the bar while Kuja pondered his next move. There was no way in hell we was going around and introducing himself. He had no desire whatsoever to do that. He stood off to the side and smoothed his short skirt down around his upper thighs. He liked to dress in dark colors that emphasized the quality of his skin and the color of his eyes. Why not? Everyone deserved a treat. Not everyone would _get_ a treat, but Kuja could at least let them have a look.

The barbarian came stomping back across the room with a bottle and one glass in his right paw. Kuja knew this type. Lots of enthusiasm but not much technique. Moving right along, he started to wonder about the peen. Guys of this caliber were usually hung like hamsters. It all would come out sooner or later. Literally.

"Here," Jecht handed a glass to Kuja, "lemme open this bottle …."

He went about it quickly, using two fingers to massage the cork out. The image brought something else to mind for Kuja. His naughty bits perked a little at the thought. The pop of the cork and the coming of the fluid out of the tip didn't help any. Kuja cleared his throat and that image out of his mind before his dick got interested. He did not want that to happen around this bunch.

"There ya go," Jecht slopped most of the champagne into Kuja's glass. A stray splurt of foamy liquid landed on the lapel of the slim mage's short jacket. "Oh, man. Hey – lemme lick that off there."

Jecht went down and stuck his tongue out near Kuja's left breast, making Kuja laugh, and not laugh in a mean way.

"You like that, huh?" Jecht smiled up at him.

Kuja smiled back at him, "You're not kidding when you say you'll do whatever I want."

Now it was Jecht's turn, "Did I say that? I'll do whatever you want?"

Kuja sipped at his champagne, "You most certainly did."

Jecht laughed, "Well, I ain't lyin!"

The silver hair had noticed that the rest of the oddball crowd was now watching him interacting with Jecht. The metal men seemed to have turned their helmets in Kuja's direction. Even the weird yellow heads coming out of the nude chick's body seemed to be interested in what was happening between the pretty mage and the barbarian. Kuja gave them all the once over and then went back to drinking his champagne.

"You're even willing to use your tongue if you have to," Kuja said.

Jecht seemed to be staggered by this comment. After he got his composure back, he said,

"Whatever you need to have done, I'm willing to do it!"

Kuja laughed and smiled. Jecht obediently refilled his champagne flute.

The mage not only had an idea, he changed the subject, "So, um, have you seen the rest of the castle?"

Jecht was surprised again, "Rest of the …? Oh, yeah! I was the first one here! Cuz I like to, y'know, scope out a place before … y'know …."

Kuja nodded, "Really? Well, I can understand that. How about if you give me a little tour?"

The significance of this was lost on Jecht as he pondered Kuja's request. Then a light bulb clicked on,

"Oh! Yeah! Sure!" He gave Kuja a knowing smile, "Lemme give you _the tour!_"

Uh huh. Whatever. Most important was getting away from this bunch of zeroes, except for the honey drinking saké all alone. Kuja would get to him later. It was always best to save room for dessert. If he was lucky, that one would be more than a mouthful.

As soon as they were out of the kitchen-dining area, Jecht said,

"So, ah, whaddaya wanna see first?"

"Hmmm," Kuja floated into the dark, cavernous room where his luggage remained by the front doors, "oh, I don't know – somewhere comfortable where we can get to know one another … better."

If Jecht had been wearing shoes he probably would've jumped right out of them, "Oh! Yeah! Hey – yeah, that'd be … ah … awesome …."

"Look at this view!" Kuja hadn't noticed it before – the windows on the opposite side of the cavernous room looked out on a green mountain range now bathed in full moonlight.

Even better than that, the windows were framed by heavy gold brocade drapes tied back with dark red satin cords. He liked it and floated farther into the darkness. Jecht followed. Kuja came to rest at the last window, which was the greatest distance from the crowd lapping up the booze in the kitchen. The light here was good, thanks to the moon. He was just about to chat up the barbarian a little more when Jecht pulled up on Kuja's short skirt to get a look at his ass.

Kuja turned and spanked his hands away playfully, "Oh my god, you don't waste any time, do you?"

"Why would I wanna waste time?" Jecht took a drink of beer, "I knew that was gonna be a great ass!"

Kuja giggled, "Well …."

What else could the pretty mage say to that? Quite a few people had begged for a look at it or asked if they could take a picture. A few had even asked Kuja to stand for a formal oil painting that would be displayed in a fine arts museum. That's just how it was. It was a fact of life for him. He was used to it by now.

"I got somethin for ya," Jecht said. Without putting his beer down, he unbuttoned and unzipped his shorts. With one hand, he quickly brought his dick out into the moonlight.

Kuja gasped so loud that the kitchen crowd must've heard him. He felt the blood drain from his face …

… and travel to another part of his body.

He blinked and then looked at it again. This was no hamster peen. Not that it was extraordinarily long. It was half hard already, standing at half mast at around 8 inches. But its _thickness_ …

Kuja was, for once, speechless.

Jecht smiled, "Ya like that?"

It was the nastiest thing he'd ever seen and he couldn't believe his eyes. He moved to one side of the window to let more moonlight in. No, his eyes weren't wrong. This barbarian had a thick, veiny dick with a huge head on it.

"Oh …," Kuja finally said when he regained some of his composure, "oh my god! That is sooooo nasty!"

"It's not for beginners, that's for sure!" Jecht laughed and downed the last of his beer.

Later on while thinking about it, Kuja wasn't sure exactly what happened or what was said. For a while he seemed to be in a dream state. All he knew was that he ended up on his knees in front of this barbarian with his mouth on his dick, sucking as if his life depended on it. And that wasn't easy, even with ongoing encouragement from said barbarian. But Kuja couldn't leave it alone. He took as much of it into his mouth as he could, moving his head up and down and using his tongue to bring it up to more of an erection. By his guesstimate, at full erection Jecht was a good 9 inches long and at least 6 inches thick, if not more. The head was bigger by another half-inch. It was all too much to contemplate. He felt drunk, and not because of the champagne.

Jecht stopped him mid-suck, "Whoa there! Let's not be gettin carried away. I sure as hell don't mind a blow job, but what I came here for is …"

He helped the pretty mage to his wobbly feet and arranged him so that his hands were on the sill of the window looking out over the moonlit valleys around the castle. Jecht reached under Kuja's short skirt and quickly removed his thong.

"… this ass."

Jecht pushed the skirt up over Kuja's round, tender bottom and took one last quick look before diving in. He didn't want to waste the wetness from the pretty mage's mouth.

Jecht's voice was husky in the dark, "You are one hot little bitch, aincha?"

Kuja couldn't do anything but moan. His own member was rock hard and ready to explode.

Jecht entered quickly, but not to the hilt. He entered one-third of his length with a hard thrust of his hips, his shorts down around his ankles. Kuja screamed like a girl. Jecht laughed and moved in a little more before starting his in and out rhythm. The little mage wasn't too tight, but just tight enough. Jecht's quiet laughed turning to moaning from the exquisite feel of a hot ass. It was even better than he thought it would be.

Kuja cried out and came quickly, spurting one long stream from his member. He couldn't help it, it felt so good. Jecht held onto him by the waist, not even close to being finished. He kept up his movements another half hour or so before grunting, feeling his orgasm come. With enough lubrication, he had managed to full seat himself inside the pretty little mage, which made Kuja come again.

"Dammit, I'm coming!" Jecht growled.

Kuja was senseless. He felt as if the only thing he really knew or cared about was being speared again and again by this horrible barbarian, and then staying erect through it all and coming again. Part of him was in ecstasy, another part in shame, disgusted at how easily he gave himself to someone he wouldn't look twice at in public.

Once Jecht was finished, he pulled out and got his one piece of clothing back in order. Kuja smooth his skirt down over his hips, feeling sweaty. He had been here before. This was familiar, regaining his composure and putting his clothes back on. When he turned around to leave, he jumped in surprise,

"Oh!"

On the other side of a few wooden crates and floor lamps was everyone from the party room – all of them, the metal men, the weird chick, the ho, the almost normal looking wack job, and the honey. The one metal man who had taken off his helmet and had been talking to the ho said,

"We were wondering what all the screaming was about – sounded like a cat getting skinned."

Kuja ignored him, walked around the bunch and floated up the stairs to freshen up in his temporary bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thank u, Susumi & MissTuff! I'm going to try to update at least every week, if not more, until I'm finished - I have another story in mind after I finish JDM. It'll be more of a crack fic/comedy. Anyway - on with today's chapter ... ^_^_

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**chapter six**

**Zanarkand, present day**

Firion was different. He was beautiful, refined, intelligent. And hot. He also hadn't called yet, and this was starting to bother Kuja more than he liked to admit, even to himself.

"You been awful quiet lately," Jecht said once they were seated for dinner.

Yes. It was turning out to be one of those days. Their drinks were slow getting to their table. This wasn't good. If Kuja was going to sit and watch Jecht eat, he was going to need a drink. A cow was probably a more delicate eater than Jecht.

But … it was good to be away from the castle and back in Zanarkand for the evening. Kuja liked this city, which is why he was even considering Jecht's … offer. That was his excuse for being so quiet – he was thinking. He had a lot to think about. Jecht had even let him choose the restaurant for dinner, knowing full well it would be one of the _snooty_ (Jecht's word) restaurants. And he was right. Kuja had chosen Nouvelle. He didn't think the service would be this bad, however.

"Well …," Kuja shrugged. He really couldn't think of anything else to say.

Jecht reached over and gave his lover's thigh a gentle squeeze, "Yeah, it's all right. I know."

No, he didn't know. That was the thing. He could never know.

Kuja had already made his decision. Now – could he live with it? What bothered him most of all was that he had so very few … choices. The options he had to choose from were severely limited. He had asked himself – _how the hell did I end up this way?_ With so little. Just when it was starting to really get him down, their drinks arrived. Tonight he was skipping the wine and champagne and going for the hard stuff. Jecht, of course, ordered a beer. The waiter took their dinner order, which was a little gauche. Kuja was surprised. At finer dining establishments they let you down a drink or two before doing the food thing.

"I'll, ah, have the steak and … can I get fries with that?" Jecht said.

Kuja rolled his eyes, "I'll have the vegetable terrine with lobster."

As soon as the waiter was gone, Jecht said, "Finally – yer eatin somethin!"

"I always eat something," Kuja said in his defense.

"Dick doesn't count," Jecht said.

That made Kuja smile and laugh just a little. But Jecht was right. Normally he only ate during the morning hours and then not for the rest of the day, being careful about his waistline. He enjoyed being thin and delicate and wanted to keep it that way, as opposed to that horrible monkey, who was on the muscular side. The last two days, however, Kuja hadn't eaten at all.

"See?" Jecht said, "I mean it – there's somethin botherin ya."

"I've got to think about what you said," was his excuse. It was valid.

He couldn't shake it. He didn't feel like being happy right now. A double martini might help. It would also loosen him up nicely for _later_.

"I ain't never seen you drink more'n wine," Jecht said in his rough voice.

"And I take it you've never had a martini," was Kuja's answer.

Jecht leaned over and nuzzled his lover's neck, "Wrong-o! I just don't like fancy foreign drinks is all."

"Fancy foreign drinks?" Kuja giggled.

Jecht had a talent for making the pretty mage laugh, but – was it enough?

"You like that, huh?" Jecht said, burying his face in his lover's silky hair.

"I have never before heard anyone use the term fancy foreign drinks," Kuja said.

Their salads arrived, which was great timing. During their convo Jecht had reached under Kuja's skirt and into his panties. His rough ministrations were arousing the pretty mage. Earlier that afternoon he had allowed Jecht to suckle him. Jecht had stopped at one point and said, _I never thought I'd be suckin on some guy's dick_, and then went back to it. Kuja had held off as long as he could before filling Jecht's mouth. Funny thing was, when they first started humping on each other, Jecht had thought Kuja was a girl. Kuja had had a good laugh then, too. Discovering the truth bothered Jecht for about 5 minutes before he went balls deep again.

It was as it was, their relationship. Kuja pushed that all to the side for a moment and worked on his salad. He loved Le Nouvelle Temps. It was dark and romantic, done in dark red and black with small white lights for illumination. The crowd was mostly couples such as he and Jecht. Close to the larger-than-life front windows was a table of four – three guys and a girl. Kuja nearly said out loud,

_Whatever gets you through the night_.

Which made him think of … Firion. He nearly choked on a piece of carrot.

"You okay?" Jecht said, mid-shovel. He was finished already.

Kuja waved him away. He did not want to go _there_ right now, thinking of Firi. Much to his dismay, their entrees arrived. That was also a little on the gauche side. Usually you waited until your table was finished with their salads, or – _both_ people at the table were finished with their salads, before serving the next courses. Kuja wasn't sure whether to let that go or not. But it did take his mind off of choking to death.

"Please let me know if your steak is done correctly, sir," their waiter said. He stood at their table while Jecht dove in without further adieu.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah …," was all he managed to say.

It was interesting to Kuja that Firion should pop into his mind with such alarming frequency.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Nouvelle crowd was beautiful, laughing, drinking their fancy foreign drinks in the romantic evening light. Outside the large front windows the sidewalks were full of Zanarkandians walking along alone or in pairs, not in any hurry, with the occasional taxi or motorcycle puttering along beside them. Across the boulevard from Nouvelle was a high bridge with nothing but a drop off to the sea on the other side of its stone railings. A half a dozen modern wire benches lined the bridge. Only two were occupied by couples. Scratch that – one was occupied by three people. Kuja smiled to himself,

_Whatever gets you through the night._

All afternoon he had something to consider and it was making him more critical of Jecht than ever. If that was possible. He finished most of his salad and moved on to the main course, but … he couldn't eat more than a bite or two. Jecht was right. There definitely was something wrong. Just as Kuja was starting to feel a case of the sads coming on, Jecht's rough left hand found his thigh and gave it a squeeze.

By the time they left Nouvelle, it was after 8 and the sky was nearly dark. Of course it wasn't dark outside the restaurant. They were in Zanarkand, after all – the city that never sleeps. But high in the sky the stars were coming out. Kuja had always loved stars. In the distant west the sun was setting fast and was only a flare of orange-red on the other side of the vast ocean.

"Wanna getta cab?" Jecht said.

Kuja didn't. He loved Zanarkand too much – all of the gorgeous people out at night, the bright lights, the possibilities. All of it was there for him.

"No, let's walk. Maybe … at the city's edge," he said.

"Okay," Jecht said, taking his lover's hand, "you're the one with the shoes."

That got a giggle out of Kuja. He did have the shoes, mary-janes with a three-inch heel. Tonight he was dressed like a school girl with knee high stockings tied with bows, a short plaid skirt, transparent white blouse and short black blazer with a gold school pin, bought at the jeweler's, on the lapel. His blouse was so transparent that during dinner he decided to keep his jacket on. Not many people knew that he actually had small breasts. Jecht had discovered them during their second date and had been madly in love ever since. Jecht would be seeing them later. He didn't need to see them at dinner, too.

"Don't worry," Kuja said, "these aren't so bad."

Still, he was thinking of Firi. Firion didn't know about the boobs yet.

The two walked through town holding hands, not talking. They never really had anything to talk about, which was fine with Kuja. And here in Zanarkand talking was a waste. All you needed to do was be able to _see_. He looked up and took in all the beautiful skyscrapers lit up for the nighttime. They were all so huge, and different. No two looked the same. One gray steel building was lit with silver lights, a plasmatron screen covering the front width of the building. On it a nearly nude young male model, who bore a striking resemblance to Squall Leonhart, sold men's cologne. The way Kuja was feeling now, he was surprised the model didn't remind him of Firion somehow.

Their jerk-ass boss allowed everyone on his "team" to visit their home every night if they chose to do so. Everyone did so immediately and then … chose not to – or, most chose not to. There was one side effect to this wish: you were a stranger in your own home. If you had servants, as Kuja had, they didn't know you. Kuja's servants, even under threat of death, refused him entry into his own desert palace. In Zanarkand, Jecht wasn't famous. He was a nobody – just another face in the crowd. In this Zanarkand, he wasn't a star. No one knew him and he didn't get the star treatment. He always said that it didn't bother him as long as Kuja was with him, but the pretty mage knew differently. It did bother him, probably quite a bit.

There was also one other nasty side effect to this wish.

Every time Jecht and Kuja fell asleep in his bed in his house on the water, they woke up back at the castle. Turned out it was like that for everyone. For those who didn't need to sleep, like Cloud of Darkness, whom they had renamed Cod, their time spent at home lasted as long as their moon was in the sky, which could be as short as 6 hours for her. Kuja was not a big fan of Cod's, but he still felt for her when she discovered that ugly secret and actually cried. He knew how she felt.

And so, until they reached their objective, they had one lovely evening and night in Zanarkand. Tomorrow morning they would be back at the rented castle.

At the end of downtown, Jecht signaled for a taxi. Not only had Kuja's feet had quite enough pavement by now, but there was nothing all that interesting to see between downtown and Jecht's houseboat. Had they continued along the long sidewalk that curved around to the harbor, there was nothing but the vast ocean on their left and rows upon rows of apartment buildings to their right. A taxi picked them up and gave them a ride the last 5 miles. Jecht paid with his credit card and included a big tip.

Which was one of the perks of this whole one-night-at-home business: Jecht's credit cards were still valid. But he never made a payment. Once Kuja found this out they had both headed straight for the jewelry store.

Jecht's floating house was there and always available to him. Kuja liked it almost better than his own. It was beautiful and didn't really match all that well with bull-in-a-china-shop Jecht. While he paid for the taxi, Kuja walked up to the house slowly, taking it all in – the exquisite stained glass street lamp out front and the huge yacht-shaped house itself, with the ocean and the city for a view outside the bedroom windows.

Inside, the house was simple, modern, comfortable. Kuja put his evening bag down on the low bookcase inside the front door and took off his short jacket. Now his breasts were out and he felt more comfortable. Like a shot from a cannon, Jecht was instantly in the house,

"God, I been waitin for this moment!"

He kissed his lover's throat, pawing his breasts at the same time. Kuja worked on containing the big ape's hands for a moment, to no avail,

"My god, someone who didn't know us would think you were starved for sex!"

"It feels like it …," Jecht started to say.

A voice came from the other side of the house, "You mean someone like us?"

Jecht stopped and put his tongue back in his mouth just as Kuja screamed in surprise. Two men and a teddy bear came out of the bedroom. The front man was the teddy bear. Behind him or her was Tidus, and then ….

When Kuja saw who the other man was, he calmed down immediately, his hands over his breasts.

_Bartz._

Jecht pointed to the teddy bear, "What the hell is that?"

It had on a little outfit that was a coat, pants and leather boots. It said nothing, merely stood in front looking from Kuja to Jecht.

"Never mind," Tidus said, "we're here for her."

He pointed at Kuja.

"What?" Kuja said. He wasn't hearing things correctly. He hadn't even fought Tidus yet. What could _he_ have against the black mage?

"Get the fuck outta here," Jecht said simply. He pointed to the door.

"No," Tidus said to Kuja, "I gotta settle with you what you did to …"

Tidus made an attempt to get around Jecht and grab Kuja by the arm. Jecht cut him off by giving Tidus a healthy shove backward,

"I thought I just told you to get the _fuck outta here!_"

The teddy bear was caught in between them for a moment and then quickly scooted out of the way. Tidus stumbled back a couple of steps but caught himself before crashing into the wall. Jecht was right on top of him. He grabbed his son by the jacket,

"Now – _get the fuck out!_"

Tidus shoved back, "Shut up! You stay outta this – you don't even know what she did …"

Jecht went to punch the blond but he ducked and gave Jecht a shove back,

"_Hey!_ Knock it off … you … _stay outta this!_"

Tidus made an attempt to knock Jecht out of the way by shouldering into him but was counter-attacked by Jecht, who tried to dive on top of the blond and take him down to the floor. He missed. But in missing he grabbed Tidus by the ankle and tripped him, bringing him nearly down on top of Jecht. Bartz and the teddy bear both sidestepped the whole mess. In a second Bartz was next to Kuja,

"Come outside with me. I gotta talk to you."

"Okay," Kuja said.

Bartz was his number 5 and someone Kuja had really looked forward to dating. He'd had a couple of matches with the slender boy that ended in draws, which was fine with him. Had Bartz's fighting style been wrestling, he would've let the boy end up on top of him. But it hadn't come to that. Now that Bartz was so close, Kuja felt a little nervous and fluttery. His nipples were hard. Over in the corner of the main room Jecht and Tidus wrestled with one another, attempting (and failing) to land punches.

Kuja went outside with the pretty Bartz, "So, what did you want to talk about?"

Not that it really mattered. Earlier in the day Jecht had (for the second time) asked Kuja to marry him. Kuja was thinking he would say yes, if it meant living in Zanarkand. Fortunately, Bartz had arrived and reminded Kuja that there were people he still wanted to date. Things were no longer looking that great for Jecht. The teddy bear came outside with them.

Bartz's sweet face turned bright pink, "I … um … oh, I … well …"

Kuja followed his gaze to see what Bartz was looking at. Kuja's hard pink nipples were making little tents in his transparent white blouse, and Bartz had noticed them … immediately. He seemed to be almost transfixed by the perky little beauties. Thankfully the teddy bear couldn't see up that high. He/she was too far down. He/she _could_ see up Kuja's skirt, however. Kuja backed away to the other side of the house boat where a short set of stairs led to the upper deck.

"You don't need to be nervous!" Kuja giggled, "You can talk to me about anything. And, um, who's this?"

The teddy bear was smiling up at him. It reached up with a gloved hand,

"Shantotto, ma'am."

Kuja shook her hand. By the voice, she guessed it was a _her_.

"Nice to meet you."

Bartz cut to the chase, "Everyone thinks you did something to Firion and they're out for your blood."

Kuja shook his head. He still wasn't hearing things correctly.

"_What?_" He said.

"Firion, you know," Bartz said. "But I don't think so 'cause he keeps asking for you."

Kuja felt the blood drain from his face, "What are you talking about?"

"Let's get out of here," Bartz said, "I'll tell you everything. Jecht …"

"I locked them inside," Shantotto said, looking up at one and then the other.

Kuja nearly laughed. There was something crazy going on here, and he wasn't sure … what to think.

"C'mon," Bartz said, "let's go somewhere where we can talk without Jecht bothering us."

Kuja liked the sound of that. That would definitely be needed – to be away from Jecht.

"I'll keep an eye on both of them," Shantotto said.

Bartz nodded at her and grabbed Kuja's delicate hand, "C'mon."

A hot guy like Bartz would never need to ask Kuja twice. That there was something wrong with Firion was starting to sink in. Kuja wanted to hear more more about that. He hurried along after Bartz, away from Jecht's house on the water, back toward the unsleeping city.

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_I must say a word about Kuja's perky boobs - a couple of the official pics of him (as opposed to deviantArt pics) have hints of small breasts, so I thought it, or they, would fit well with him, his body and sexuality. Let me know if you hate the boobs idea. ^^;;;;_


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